Ran across Selected Quotes About Computers & Software at a site called The Core Memory. I have the teeshirt for this first one. The rest are for inpiration.

There are 10 types of people. Those that understand binary and those that do not.

— Ray Roton

Old programmers never die… They just decompile.

— Peter Dick

I haven’t lost my mind, I have it backed up on tape somewhere.

— Unknown

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.

— Donald Knuth

Beware of programmers who carry screw drivers.

— Leonard Brandwein

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

— Rich Cook

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

— Pablo Picasso

If it’s there and you can see it – it’s real.
If it’s not there and you can see it – it’s virtual.
If it’s there and you can’t see it – it’s transparent.
If it’s not there and you can’t see it – you erased it!

— Scott Hammer

I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC;
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I cannot sea.
I’ve run this poem threw it,
I’m sure your pleased too no,
Its letter perfect in it’s weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.

— Janet Minor

Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

— Michael Sinz

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

— Unknown

I’d love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code!

— Unknown

If a train station is where a train stops, what’s a workstation?

— Unknown

As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn’t as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs.

— Maurice Wilkes

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

— Janet Reno

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.

— Joseph Campbell

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents.

— Nathanie Borenstein

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.

— Sidney J. Harris

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft … and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

— Wernher von Braun

Man is a slow, sloppy and brilliant thinker; the machine is fast, accurate and stupid.

— William M. Kelly