Its odd. My writing is very, very formal. (Too formal for some.) So formal, people think that I am insulting them. Ironically, I thought learning to write formally would minimize the offensiveness of the message. So the form that seems to work best is for me to write formally and go back through the message and lighten up the tone some.

Of course, the problem is more that I am having to tell people, “No.” Not sure there is way to coat that in an acceptable form other than face-to-face.

Wired News: The Secret Cause of Flame Wars

According to recent research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, I’ve only a 50-50 chance of ascertaining the tone of any e-mail message. The study also shows that people think they’ve correctly interpreted the tone of e-mails they receive 90 percent of the time.

“That’s how flame wars get started,” says psychologist Nicholas Epley of the University of Chicago, who conducted the research with Justin Kruger of New York University. “People in our study were convinced they’ve accurately understood the tone of an e-mail message when in fact their odds are no better than chance,” says Epley.